this is real, this is me.

The picture says it all.Im bored.Hmm.Today was another boring day as i expected.Okay.So i woke up late today.My two brothers wake up even earlier than me.Haha.I think it is because i havent been sleeping well this few days and i slept at 3 in the morning yesterday.I dont know why i find it so difficult for me to sleep eventhough i feel so tired almost everyday.Sigh.So yeah,i didnt eat breakfast today cause i wasnt hungry at all.I find it weird cause i always feel hungry in the morning.Whats more its weekend.Hmm.I watched shows on Okto today.I seldom watch shows on Okto cause i prefer watching show on Nickelodeon or Disneychannel.Okay again,its for your information.lol.Hmm,then i did my A maths homework.But i stopped after doing 3 questions.I guess i was too lazy and i didnt have the mood to complete my work.Instead,I spend my time on my laptop,playing games and listening to music.How boring can my life get?Haha.Nevermind,it is only for the weekend.Will be having AEM tomorrow.Have to wake up early in the morning.Sigh.But im looking forward to do something new tomorrow.I think im starting to have interest in this module.Is this a good thing or a bad thing?lol.Okayy.Im waiting for my mum and dad to come home with my dinner.I havent eaten a proper meal since just now.I only eat tidbits.There is something wrong with me(?).lol.This week will be a very busy one for me.Cause i have to go to Ngee Ann Poly for three consecutive days and i have to go to school on thursday plus i will be having a tuition on friday.Is this even a holiday for me?Haha.Nevermind.I rather having to go somewhere or do something than to rot at home.Hmm.Okay i think im done and for your information,i find this post very very very random.Don't you think so?Okay i will stop now.Bye.

Labels: please dont leave me crying again

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

5:53 PM

Hey.

Today was a boring day.Kak Ayuni and Kak Reen went home around afternoon as they got classes to attend.Danial Ashriq also went around the same time too.Little Brother was not at home as he got his basketball training.So yeah,there are nobody to entertain me.So sad.So i watched tv,played psp,went online to keep me occupied.I tried to finish my homeworks but i cant as i couldnt concentrate when my mind was thinking about that problem.Sigh.

Just now,went to Yew Tee Point with my big brother to buy our latelate dinner.Mum didnt cook too and mum went out just now.Big brother and I bought LJS while we bought burger king for little brother and dad.I find out that my big brother is as lame as me.On our way home,he keep making up lame jokes and stuffs and keep laughing when it is not even funny.K lol.

After buying LJS,He ask me something.
Him: hmm,why is there so many jacks in singapore?
Me:HUH?
Him: Why are there so many food stall name jack?
Me:Like?
Him:Hungry Jack,Mad jack,Jack's Place(pointing at a hungry jack stall)
Me:Ohh.Dont know.
Him:I know why.
Me: Why?
Him: it is because of Jackie chan.
Me:LOL?
Him:Hahahhaha(keep on laughing)

While walking home,he started being all crazy.So i asked him.
Me: Ermm,Are you alright?
Him: Yes(smiling)
Me:Are you sure?Cause you dont sound alright to me.
Him: Ehk no,im not alright.
Me: I see.
Him:Cause im not alright.Im Zulhelmy.
Me:Ohh.Huh?No link?
Him:You dont get it, is it?Im not alright,im zulhelmy.
Me:Ohhhh!I get it.I get it.Haha.Ookay lol.
Him: Slow lah you.Alamaaak.Haha
Me:Whatever.
Him: S.L.O.W
Me:Okay okay.Whats up with the spelling?I know you pass your spelling.No need to boast.Haha.
Him:I didnt say i pass my spelling.
Me:Then?
Him:Im the..KING!HAHAH.
Me:(shake head.)

Haha.K my big brother is really crazy.Okay.Not watching movie tomorrow anyway.Hmm,i got nothing else to say.Bye

Sigh.Im not feeling very happy lately.I dont know why this happening.Somehow,it is driving me crazy just thinking about it.I couldnt focus in everything i do now.Every now and then,i make a mistake.I want to stop thinking about it.But i cant.I want to stop worrying about it.But i cant.Sigh.Everything is so wrong now.Sigh.

Labels: i don't wish to be separated with you because of her

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

10:08 PM

Yeah Hello again.

Just came back from watching Monsters vs Aliens.Watched it with Kak Ayuni,Kak Reen,Shafiz,Amran,Danial Zayin and Danial Ashriq(nephew).Yeah the show is very funny and it is so worth watching.There are some scenes from the movie which i find it exceptionally funny.Haha.Okay.I find the blue monster,BOB,very cute and he is very silly and funny.And the insectaurus(whatever it is spelled like)is very cute too.Danial Ashriq is so cute when he laugh and keep pointing at the screen.I have to keep asking him to lower down his voice whenever he gets so excited.Haha.Cute lah him.During the movie,Syahidah and Afifah texted me.And yeah i replied.Haha.It is for your information.lol.After the movies,we went home straight.Brought Danial Ashriq back to my home.Kak Ayuni and Kak Reen are sleeping over at my house too.Yeah fun.Haha.Danial Ashriq has already fallen asleep since we were in the bus.I guess he is tired from all those excitements?lol.Anyway,thanks Danial Zayin for the treat for everybody.(= I have alot alot alot of pictures to to show you but my USB doesnt seems to be on a good terms with me.Hahaha.So yah,i cant upload the photos.Too bad

Tuition just now was alright.Learn about Trigonometry and also did my homework.Im done with E maths.Im left with A maths.Told my tuition teacher to teach me ahead from school as I will not be attending school for 10 days so im going to miss alot alot alot of things.Oh no.Sigh.Hope i can catch up.Sigh.

Activities for june holidays:
1-3 June: AEM
4 June: Helping out in the Maths carnival(?)
8 June: AYG training
10-11 June: LMSC course
22-23 June: Heartland Poetry Course and Remedial.

Anymore?Haha.Haiyo busy.

June babies.
2 june: Afifah
4 june: Sahida and Syahirah
17 June:Hardy
18 June:Amran
22 june: Mummy(=
25 june: Dina

I got nothing to do.Heh.(=

And Yeah,Syahidah had asked me along to watch movie this Sunday.The place is not confirm yet.I havent ask daddy.I hope i can go.=/

What if it stays like this forever?Will it affect us too?I dont want it to affect us.Sigh.Why cant things be like normal?Am i suppose to take to first step again?Tell me what do i need to do to get this settled so that you,me and her could be back like normal.Sigh.

Labels: sigh

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

10:44 PM

Hello.

Today's post will be short.Cause i have nothing much to talk about.So yeah today was the last day of the term.Went to school with Syahidah.Had spring cleaning for an hour.Was supposed to get our report books first but teacher had to see one of the parents which make us wait and wait in the class.We waited for so long already and teacher still havent come up yet.So we decided to go to canteen to see and collect our report books.We were told to wait again.So we sit at the canteen.We were then being chased out by dm.They say that it is only for parents.Wait and wait and wait.Finally,i received my report book.My result is not that good.I wish i had done better.Sigh.Went home with Syahidah.Bought food and drinks at Lot 1.Went home.Showered.Watch tv.Will be alone at home later on as mummy and daddy will have to go to little brother school.Im having tuition at 5.At night,I will be watching a movie,Monsters vs Aliens,with cousins,friends and my little nephew at Lot 1.Hehe.Yeah,hmm what else?School holidays will be very busy for me due homeworks,projects,Npcc,AEM,Malay course,AYG training and etc.Hope i can have some time to relax and meet up with friends.Yeah okay.Im done here.Byebye.Maybe i will post again tonight?

Labels: what if me and her will be like this forever?

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

1:18 PM

Hello

Okay i am so tired today.I don't know why.So today it was our school's cross country.Some students from other schools came to our school to take part in the urban challenge too.I saw my cousin's boyfriend.lol.K fyi.For me and the non-competitors, we just walked all the way.Duh.Im not happy with the boy who pushed Syahidah.Somehow i became the victim too as the milo which Syahidah was holding spilt on my shirt.Quickly went to the toilet to wash off.Lucky it can be wash off.Sahida keep wanting to know who is the guy.lol.Okay.It was very very very hot at parade square while the results are being announced.Congrats to my cousin,Asdira, too for winning.After that,went to Pizza Hut as planned since last month i think,to celebrate Afifah,Sahidah,Syahirah advance birthdays and Wida's belated birthday.I was kind of panickin along the way.You can ask Afifah and Syahidah.Haha.Im glad everything went well and im also glad that they are happy.Went to BP library to slack around.Went home.I feel so tired that i could barely stand in the lrt.Everybody was tired too.It is as though i ran for the cross country.LOL.Showered as soon as i reach home.I fall asleep while watching the tv.Hehe.I dont know whether i could sleep tonight.Haha.Tomorrow is my last day of school.Sigh.I dont know whether my parents will be coming down to meet my teachers or not as my little brother is also having a parents meeting and his time clashes with my time.So yeah.Okayy im done.Byebye.

To Afifah,Syahirah,Sahida and Wida,
Hope you had fun just now!(=

I dont know why i tend to get worried over small little things.Sigh.Why cant i think positive everytime?Is there something wrong with me?Its not that i cant be happy.Its just that whenever i wanted to be happy,something or some problem just cropped up and spoil my mood like just now in school.Sigh.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

7:00 PM

Hello

Its been a few days since i last blog.Yeah,i was kinda of busy.Suddenly,I feel like blogging today.Okay so lets start with yesterday since my weekend was bored.So no point telling.If not,im sure my readers would fall asleep.

Yesterday:
My AEM course started yesterday.Went to school ealier than usual.Reach school.Bought biscuits from the canteen.Made our way to Ngee Ann Poly.The school is big.If i were to explore alone,i think i would be lost.Heh.Went to the classroom.It was very very very cold.First half of the day was just about the theory.I nearly fall asleep.Had lunch.Couldnt finished my food.On our way back to classroom,there were some poly students calling us Pizza Hut School.Hmm,so rude.While there are also others whom want to take orders.Tsk..tsk.Second half was the practical part.We did soldering(dont know if correct or not) and drilling.I was proud of myself that i did this all by myself.Last two years,i keep asking my friends to do the soldering part for me.Heh.Should also thanks Sahida for guiding me.So after the course,went home on our own.I was feeling very very tired when i reached home.Took a shower and rest.My headache was killing me yesterday so i ate my medicine and force myself to go to sleep.

Today:
Went to school with Syahidah.For today,my AEM starts at a later time.Had npcc meeting in the morning.Im involved in the AYG thingy.I havent make up my mind whether i want to go or not cause i will be missing 10 days of school.Sigh.But most probably,i will be going.First period was Social Studies.Started out with going through the exam papers but ended up telling ghost stories which creeps me out.Had a safety talk at hall after that.It was okay but it reminded me of one incident.Sigh.Recess.Had another session of safety talk.Recess again.It was already 12 after recess so we can be dismissed from class due to AEM.Went there.Listen to the theory first.Did the practical.This time we are supposed to do the Flashing of LED thingy.The bulb will light up when we talked.Cool right?I know.I did it all by myself again.Of course,i did seek for some help from the teacher.And and,my bulb did light up!Yeah.Before going home,bought some snacks from the shop at NP with our $3 coupons.Went home.Again,i was feeling very tired.Reached home.Showered.Eat dinner.Now im chatting with Wida.Thats all for today.

Tomorrow,i will just be attending school for attendance taking only.Will be going for AEM again.And on thursday,there will be cross country.Friday will be the parents teacher meeting.It is compulsory for parents to go for secondary 3 too.Sigh.

Everything is wrong.Everything is out of place.I feel so stressed,troubled and sad about this.But nobody knew.I wished they knew that i dont want to feel this way.When im with you,you make me feel as though im different.The odd one between you two.When im with them,im always left out.Tell me where do i belong?I feel as though i dont belong to anybody.Not here.Not there.Not anywhere.But im happy when im with you.I really do.Im suffering inside.At that moment,i really wanted to just sit down and cry.But i put on a strong front.It is not me at all that you were seeing.The real me is already crying.I was so frustrated that i want to hurt myself again but you once told me not to and i already promised you too.You tell me how can i released my frustration.Im sick of crying almost every night about this matter.I want to run away from this problem but i cant cause there's no way out.This problem is never going to end.Sigh.I dont want to cry anymore but somehow my tears wont stop flowing.Why am i feeling like this?I dont like it.Ahh..sigh sigh sighhhh..=(

I dont know whether i will be alright or not cause right now,i just cant take it anymore.I just feel like banging my head on the wall.But i cant.Sigh

Labels: where do i belong?

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

7:29 PM

Hello.

Hmm.Okay im not feeling so well now.I don't know why.Feeling cold all of the sudden.Started sneezing.Head is spinning.But im not having a fever.I think.But I still insist on blogging cause im bored.Sigh.

Okay today went to school with Syahidah.First 4 periods was A maths and E maths.Went through the exam papers.Teacher say there will an A maths test on the same questions as the exam papers tomorrow.He said he want to see whether we understand or not.Not fair lah.Went through MCQ paper for physics.Had recess with Syahidah.^^.Had three free periods during POA.Went through SS paper after that.Went home.Went to the minimart to buy things for mummy.Thanks Afifah for accompanying me.Reached home.Showered.Went online.Chat and play games with Wida.She is so funny.LOL.Now watching American Idol.Syahidah told me that Kris Allen won.Mummy also said that.Sigh.Not fair.Sigh.

Will be having a monopoly competition tomorrow.Im so so nervous.Sigh.Hope i will be feeling better tomorrow.(=

By the way,
Happy Birthday Wida.(=

Labels: scared of being alone.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

6:35 PM

Hello!

Today was the most most surprising day ever.

Okay.Went to school with Syahidah.Received Chemistry Paper for the first period.I pass my Chemistry.Im happy eventhough it is not that good but at least i pass one of science.Heh.Next was POA.My teacher never come but the relief teacher give back our paper 1 back and show our total results.I finally got an A for a subject.Im happy.Need to do some surveys about teachers after recess and somehow i think my teacher know about my blog.Haha.Must private this blog soon.Heh.Then got back my english results.I was kinda of disappointed that i failed my paper 2 but my paper 1 bring my grades up somehow so i passed overall.Geography was next.I was scared at first as i thought that i would fail but i pass.Yeay.So far,overall,i only fail A maths.Sigh.Stay in school with Syahidah for a little while.Need to put up the npcc RO at the notice board but the keys doesnt seem to be helping so my senior use force.Haha.

So yeah,as promise,i accompanied Syahidah to Zhenghua CC cause she need to take some "application forms".Haha.So went inside the badminton.When i enter,suddenly there was a popping sounds that scares me till i shouted and suddenly they started singing Happy Advance Birthday to me.They are Eiss,WJ,Amit,Abbas and Haziq.I was surprised,speechless.LOL.There was cake too.There was this chocolate that wrote "happy birthday Izza". Made a wish,actually two wishes but actually it is the same.Thanks to Haziq.Heh.I was still in shock even after i cut the cake.Amit keep saying,"You are not in a dream.Syahidah,pinch her pinch her".Haha.Also,Eiss and Amit tried to put cake on my face.I got my revenge anyway.Haha.There were also pizza hut.Played badminton with WJ,Eiss,Syahidah and Abbas.Took pictures too.But im not uploading today cause my USB port seems to be missing.Haha.Played with my blue balloon.I feel like im a kid again.Haha.Yeah.At 5 around there,clean up and went home.

Thanks Syahidah,WJ,Eiss,Amit,Abbas,Haziq,Minglun and Mervyn for this advance advance advance advance birthday party.You all are the sweetest.I appreciate it so much.Thank Mingy for the chocolate.Thanks WJ for willing to come out so much money for all this eventhough i said there is not a need for all this.It was infact the most memorable birthday for me^^.Thanks thanks thanks.Loves!=D

And ohh yah,Today is in fact the BEST DAY.And Weiqi,yup,what you have predicted is very true.Hehe.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

7:51 PM

hello

This two days have been the disappointing days ever.Yeah,it is because of my results.Im not satisfied with any of my papers so far.Sigh.

Monday:
A Maths paper 1 was a disaster.I failed very very very badly.I was quite sad eventhough i already know that i would fail.Sigh.Next was E maths.Im glad that i pass as i expected it to fail but i wasnt quite happy with the results.Next result was A maths paper 2.I did slightly better but still i fail so overall i fail my a maths!Mr M say that it is normal.Sigh.Went home with Syahidah.Told my parents as soon as they came home.Thought that i would get scolded but they didnt.I guess they understand?

Tuesday:
Was late again and its okay Syahidah.^^.Sharmaine was late too cause i ask her to accompany me.Thanks Sharmaine.Received Physics paper back.Failed badly.Sigh.Then SS paper,i thought that i failed but i pass,just pass.Sigh.E maths paper 2 was also very disappointing.There was alot alot alot alot of careless mistakes which actually causes me to lose 30 over marks.AH damn it!So yeah i cried.Sigh.Next was Mother Tongue Paper 2.Nah i never improved.Its the same as last year.Sharmaine and Syahidah got higher marks than me.Sigh.Went through A maths paper 2 with Mr M.Went to blueroom to take Ezlink card.Syahidah didnt came to school today.I miss her and i went home alone.Shower.Chat with Syahidah and WJ.Was having a bad headache just now so i slept.Its better now.

Tomorrow:
Will be receiving POA,Chemistry,English and Geography papers tomorrow.Hope that this results will be better.Sigh.

Today is your birthday.Sigh.I just wish that i could wish you now in front of you and give you your presents.I remember you told me that this year,your birthday would a special as you wanted to celebrate it with me and the rest.But sadly,your wish did not come true.Sigh.
Happy Birthday to you.I really really miss you =(

Labels: you all lied again and again

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

9:36 PM

Hello.

Hmm,where do i begin?
For yesterday, I did nothing much.Just spend almost the whole day at my cousin house.Oh yah,i fell again yesterday.Gosh.I think something spilled water on the floor or something so i slipped on it and i think i hit my nephew toys that was all over the floor.Now,on my arm,there are some scratch marks.Sigh.What luck.

For today,hmm i have no plans for now.Hope my parents will bring me out today.Cause i am so bored.Usually,for the past few weekends,i keep myself busy with studies and homeworks.Now that exams are over,i have nothing to do now.Sigh.

Hmm what else?
There is school tomorrow and we will be getting back our results.Oh gosh.And guess what?For me,i will be getting my A maths results first.Sighh.Starting of day,already sad.Sigh.And also,Nor Sharmaine Marleha will be turning 15 tomorrow.When she texted me yesterday,and we were talking about tomorrow,she say she is going to be old tomorrow.Haha.She also got mentioned that tomorrow she will be getting her Higher Mother Tongue results and she say like what luck to get her results on her birthday.Haha.Well wishing you all the best for your results Sharmaine.If you pass,that will be like a present from you to yourself.Hehe.I feel so sleepy now.I have been sleeping late this few days.I dont know why.Perhaps im used to sleeping late during MYE period.I got to kick this habit away.If this goes on,i will not have enough of sleep.Sighh.Hmm,i dont know how to make this post any longer.I guess thats it then.

Thanks alot.You have just made an attention seeker spam my blog.Out of so many people,this person choose to spam my blog.I have no idea who is this person and how this person know so much about me and you.Its annoying.I keep deleting the tags that the person wrote and this person keep coming back.If you know who is this person,please ask him/her to stop it.And to the passerby,i dnt know how you know me.I dont even know how you are related to me.But whatever it is,please stop your nonsense.I have no time to entertain you or even answer your questions.Are you her mother or her boyfriend?If not,you have no rights to question me.So just go away okay?

Labels: please dont bother me anymore

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

2:06 PM

Hello.

Just came back from my religious class.I feel so tired right now and my shoulders,backs,thighs and ankles are hurting right now.Cause i had a fall just now.Twice.Was rather unlucky.The first fall happened when i was walking home after going out with Syahidah.The floor was wet due to the rain.My slippers were slippery.So I fell and twisted my ankle.I didnt fall onto the ground.Instead,when i fell,my shoulder hit the pillar hard.Pain you know.When i think back,why didnt i hold the pillar when i was walking?Sigh.The second fall happened when i was fetching my nephew.Again,due to the slippery floor,i fell.This time,i fell hard onto the ground.My nephew was like laughing at his poor aunt there.Haha.That kid.LoL.Sigh.How unlucky my day was today.

Okay so today,woke up early in the morning despite the fact that i actually slept late last night.Went to school with Afifah.After that,went to Causeway Point with Syahidah.Went to buy some things with her.Ate at KFC.Head to Lot 1 to find a present for Marleha.Hehe.Went home.I think its been a long time since i shopped for hours and hours cause my feet hurts after that.Took a shower.Fetch Nephew.Went to religious class.Today's lesson somehow make me scared that i was tht afraid to go home alone tonight.Lucky got Raihana.She stayed in the same block as me.So i went home with her instead.Yah.Now my ankle is so painful because i tried to walk like normal eventhough it hurts.Sigh.Silly seyy.

I feel like changing my link or private my blog now due to some reasons.But it is so troublesome.Sigh.Im now listening to a song titled Bukan Cinta Biasa,sang by Afghan.I like this song so much that i out it on repeat.Haha.By the way,there is a good news from Amit.Amit and other sec 3 npcc cadets won first for the sudoku competition.Yeay!Amit so pro.He can beat all the school.Haha.So proud of him and others.Im looking forward to my competition which is Monopoly.My teammates are Sharmaine,Amit and Farhan.Hope we can win this challenge too.(=
Congrats Amit and Gang!!

When I miss you, sometimes I listen to music or look at pictures of you, not to remind me of you but to make me feel as if I'm with you. It makes me forget the distance and capture you. Tears rolled my cheeks as it brings me to the times that we have shared.I closed my eyes,it didnt work,it only making it clearer.Sigh.I guess im still stucked in the past.Sigh.

Labels: alone

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

10:29 PM

Hello

Weeee..Exams are finally over.No need to stay up late anymore just to study!Yeaaay.However,i know the results for my exam papers will somehow disappoint me.But like Syahidah say,"Being happy for a moment is better than not being happy at all".Hehe.

Woke up around 8.Took a cold shower cause I forgot to switch on the water heater.Chatted with WJ and he help me again even after he helped me yesterday till midnight too.If i pass the science this time,it all thanks to WJ.Went to school with friends.Combined science Paper 1 was okay.The chemistry part was a little bit difficult than physics.I hope with this MCQs,i could pass my both sciences.As the bell rang,it marked the end of MYE!Yeah.After school,waited for Syahidah.Went home.Watch cartoons after a shower.How i miss watching cartoons everyday.Haha.But somehow,i fell asleep while watching.I slept for like 2 hours?Haha.Finally,i finally got to rest.However,i had a scary dream just now.Lucky,it was just a dream.Yeahyeah..i don't know what to say anymore.So byebye.(=

Labels: thanks

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

5:31 PM

Sad.

Im not feeling very happy today.I feel so useless at this point of time.Sigh.

Monday:
Dont have to go to school due to Vesak Day.Had a study group with Syahidah,Eiss,WJ,Raihan,Zahin,Hadi and Hanis.Went home earlier than them cause i got tuition.Had another 2 hours and 30 minutes of A maths.Studied Chemistry and A maths till 1 in the morning.Thank you WJ for willing to stay up late too to teach me in Chemistry.

Tuesday:
Had A maths Paper 2 first.It was super difficult.I didnt do quite a number of questions.Sigh.Next was Chemistry paper.It wasnt that difficult but i did commit some minor mistakes.Ate Pizza Hut with Syahidah,Wj,Eiss,Raihan,Amit and Haziq.Thank you WJ for the treat.He spent quite a lot.Studied for an hour in school.Went back home.Showered and head to tuition.Had another 2 hours of A maths.Studied for Physics till midnight.Again,thanks WJ for teaching me.

Today:
A maths paper 1 was as difficult as paper 2.I know that i have no hope in passing A maths.Sigh.Physics was also difficult.I was kinda disappointed in myself as i forget some of the definitions and the SI units.Sigh.After school,waited for Afifah.Went home.Showered and now blogging.Im having my gastrics again because i never eat since morning till now.I don't feel like eating too.It seems like im torturing myself.I think i deserved it over what had happened.Tomorrow will be the last exam paper.Next week will be the released of results.Sigh.Sigh.

I hate myself.You may say its alright,but its not alright for me.You may say nobody is blaming me but im the one who is blaming myself.I cried soon after you walked away.Sigh.I don't know why.Im stupid,i know.My stupidity caused you to be worried and even more sick.Im sorry that i didnt think about your condition.Im so so so so sorry for what had happened.I really am.Sigh.Im sorry,Bestie.Sigh.

Labels: Torturing myself again

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

5:43 PM

Milo godzilla.The Drink which somehow make me want to vomit after drinking.

He just cant wait for the spoons so he eat the cake like that.Haha

Aunt and Granny are so happy.Hehe

Awwh,Granny is shy.

Smile Braces Boys.Heh

My cousin is thinking whether my brother is alright or not.Haha

Haziq and Asyraf(;

Hello.

First of all, wishing Mummy and to all mothers in the world,Happy Mother's Day.
To My One and Only Mummy,
Happy Mother's Day.Thanks for bringing me up into this world.You are still my idol among all despite your naggings and such.I hope that you like the presents and also the little song that i sang to you just now.I love you Mummy.((:

Yesterday:
Those pictures up there was taken yesterday.Went to eat at Woodlands with Granny's family from my dad side.So yeah,i got to meet my one and only cousin from dad's side.Hehe.The food was great except for the chicken.It was super sour.Haha.The shop owner also gave us a small cake for free.I think it is because of mother's day.Granny was so cute when my dad want to feed the cake to her.She was shy.Haha.Yah.After eating,the young teenagers including me ordered a dessert.So i ordered a milo drink with ice cream on top of it.Little brother ordered the same too while Asyraf ordered a coke with ice cream on top.After drinking,the three of us was not feeling well.I feel like vomitting while the boys had stomachache.Haha.I think we are too full,thats why.Hehe.The three of us felt better after a walk to the the carpark.Haha.

Today:
Had lunch at Aunt house with all my cousins and Granny.This time,it is from my mummy side.My granny actually didnt know that we are coming.It was meant to be a surprise.She was so surprise upon seeing us.She keep saying the her children lied to her and mummy and her sibling say it was lying,just a white lie.Haha.Then my cousin say to granny that all the grandchildren were innocent and had nothing to do with the lies.Haha.Aunt cooked a spread.All were delicious.Had a little sing a long session after prayers.Cousins and I sang a song for our mummy.They were touched.Haha.

For the rest of time,i studied for my upcoming exams.I am very worried about my chemistry cause no matter how much i studied it,i still dont understand.I don't want to fail chemistry.A maths is another stressful subject.Oh no.I am so stressed out.Hopefully,tomorrow,i could understand better in chemistry.Sighh.Die lah Izza.Sigh.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

9:28 PM

No matter how strong a bubble is,one day,it still pop.

Hello.

So today,had POA paper 1 and 2.It was difficult at all.For paper 1,it was an hour paper.Managed to finish up in 30 minutes but i think i screwed up the general journal part.Had a break after that.Chat chat chat with Syahidah and Sharmaine.I think i was the crazier one.Hehe.Paper 2 was a two hour paper.It was okay.Managed to balance everything but i made a change on my workings but didnt make a change on my answers so i guess i lost some marks?Sigh.So far,POA was the most easiest among all papers that i have taken.Im still left with A maths and Combined Sciences which make me so stressed up just thinking about it.Sigh.

Head to Lot 1 alone to buy a mother's day present for Mummy.Went home and hid it beside my bed.It was silly of me to do that actually because i think mummy saw it even before i gave her.Took a shower and went to fetch my little nephew from my auntie house to send him back to his home.On the way,he saw a shop selling those bubbles thingy.So he asked me for one.Bought it for him.Sat at a playground nearby and play with the bubbles.I blew the bubbles while he went round and round to chase the bubbles.He tried blowing but couldnt.When he finally blow a small bubble on his own,he was very very very happy.And also,when everytime a bubble pop,he will be sad.He is definitely a cute little boy.At the end of the day,he ask me why do bubbles pop.Haha.I could only gave him a smile as im not a smart person and i couldnt answer his question.Hehe.Went home.Gave mummy the present.She looked surprised but who knows.Haha.Mums can act too.Haha.Brothers keep saying to Mummy that they were the ones who planned it all..bla bla bla..when actually they didnt even come out money to buy.Oh brothers.Haha.Head to religious class.It was super warm in class as the air conditioner could not work.Sigh.

Will be going out with family tomorrow to mothers day and also on sunday.On monday,there is no school but will be having a study group and also tuition.Exams is coming to an end.Holiday is coming.How time flies.Sighh

Your name is being mentioned a lot of times tonight during religious class.Your name meant something else too which is a happy occasion for all Muslim.It somehow reminded me of you whenever your name is mentioned.I know it is not a good thing but it couldnt be help.Sigh.In the blink of an eyes,its going to be two months soon since you are gone.Im okay now.At least that is what im trying to be.I don't know whether im acting or it is for real.Sometimes i can be happy,crazy and also lame but sometimed i can be very sad,distracted and such.Its all mixed up.Whatever it is,im still trying to find the real me.Without you,everything is different for me.Now,im thinking of giving up of something.Love ones do not encouraged me to quit.I don't know.Im confused.Sigh...wish you were here..sighhh

Labels: i dont know you anymore

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

10:33 PM

Picture of the Day!Hehe.

Hello.

Im taking a break from all those studying.Im also updating because Syahidah ask me to post that picture of her that i took during the break today.Hehe.Been studying with Syahidah,Eizzy and WJ lately at school library.

Monday.
Mid Year Examinations begins!Haha.English paper 1 and 2 was okay.But the summary was difficult.Eventhough i wrote the summary less than 150 words,some of my points are not related to the question at all.Oh dear.However,im praying hard that i could still pass my English as it is an important subject and i kinda make a bet with my little brother.Heh.Childish.Yea i know.

Tuesday.
Mother Tongue Paper 1 and 2 was also okay too.Paper 1 situational writing was easy but im scared that im lack of points.Narrative writing,on the other hand,is a little bit difficult and im hoping that my essay is somehow or rather relevant to the questions.Had a study group with Syahidah,Eizzy and WJ.

Wednesday.
Both E Maths Paper 2 and Social Studies were difficult.I didnt managed to complete both of the papers.I was frustrated of course especially for Social Studies because i have memorised the sample essay but i forgotten it during the exam itself.I know that i will flunked my Social Studies.If i pass,i must be very lucky.Sigh.Ate at banquet with Syahidah,Sharmaine and the boys.The boys sure can eat a lot.Haha.Studied at school library again with Syahidah,Eizzy,WJ and Raihan.Studied geography till midnight.Sigh.

Thursday.
Woke up at four in the morning to study geography.Spent two hours reading and reading my notes.Showered and head to school with Syahidah,Sharmaine and the rest.I was reading my geography textbook along the way.The geography paper was a disappointing one for me.I didnt managed to finished it and again i forgot some of the answers.How dumb can i be?I was really really really sad as i thought that my geography could pull up my humanities grades but i guess not.Sigh.I wanted to cry just now but Syahidah somehow made me smile over a matter of buying food.Haha.Okayy.Maths paper was also okay.This time i managed to complete all with time to spare for checking.But somehow,i still managed to get two answers wrong as i compare my answers with my friends.How sad.But nevermind,for E maths,Im hoping that with the combined marks of every papers will help me to get an A for my E maths.But i know its impossible cause i havent been doing well for maths this year.Sighh.Went to Lot 1 with Syahidah to buy food.It was very funny.We went down and up and down again.Haha.You wont know about it anyway,only me and her know.Haha.Okay so yah went home.Took shower and ate.Was alone at home till mummy and daddy came home.Im having POA tomorrow.I have only revised it abit.Going to revise it now.I want to pass POA.Haha.Okay byebye.

Left with POA,A maths and Combined Sciences Exams to take!Hang in there.(=

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

6:11 PM

hello

My fever came back again today.Sigh.Okay so yah today went to study with Syahidah,Eiss and WJ.But before we went to the library,me and Syahidah went to buy famous amos cookies as a belated birthfay present for Eiss.Upon reaching the library,we had to find eiss and WJ all around the library and finally found them at the children corner.So start our revision but we were chased out.Awwh.Then we went to find another place and saw Zahin and Hadi.Finally found a suitable place for the six of us to study.Study and talk talk.Then Eiss suggested to go to eat.Everybody agreed since everybody were hungry.Ate at food culture.Its been awhile since i ate at food culture.I was feeling a little bit down as memories just flashed back in my mind and my cough was seriously bugging me.I didnt finished my food.Eiss finished it for me.Thanks.Heh.Went back to the library to continue our revision.WJ gave a winnie the pooh cause he noticed that i was down.Actually i was not.I was just feeling very sick.But thank you very very very much.So this will add to my winnie the pooh collection.Seriously,i can open a shop selling just pooh bears.Haha.Went home first.It was too cold for me and i wasnt feeling very well and also i have to go to my granny house.At granny house,took a shower and continue to revise but i stopped as my head was spinning like hell.Yup,by then i realised i was having a fever again.So called daddy to fetch me.Reached home,eat medicine and here i am.This should be my last post.Okay i want to study for my english.Byebye.(=

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

8:32 PM

Hello

Thank goodness,my temperature has gone down.Though im not fully recovered but im feeling alright.My fever did not ruin the fun i had today and yesterday.Still im quite annoyed that i have to sneeze and cough every time.

Yesterday.1 may 2009
It was labour day so i went to my relative house to study with my cousins and Amran.Shafiz didnt turn up as he had to go johor to attend his relatives wedding.So yah yesterday i studied chemistry and maths.Shafiz wasnt there so nobody helped me.So sad but i did read up the little book that was given by WJ.It was very useful as now im beginning to understand chemistry bit by bit.Hope i can understand everything before the chemistry exam.For maths,im still struggling but Amran helped me out yesterday so i guess im okay.Will also be having a tuition before the maths exam day.Went home around 5.Started to feel sick again at night but i did try not to think about it so i continued studying my chemistry.After revising,my temperature was really high.Haha.So i took my medicine and fall asleep.

Today. 2 may 2009
It was my nephew,Danial Ashriq and Iskandar birthday.Happy birthday to the both of you.So there was a little birthday party for that little boy.But before i go to that party,went to Lot 1 with Little Brother to buy some things and because i asked him to follow,i had to treat him sweettalk.Uh.Brothers.Okay so went to the birthday party.Danial looked so handsome with his new clothes that was bought by his mum and dad.He looked so happy too.I bought his present long long long time ago with ....Syawal.So i gave that present to Danial on the behalf of ....Syawal.It was a big big toy car.He love it so much that he gave me a kiss on my cheeks.Cute right?But he told me something that makes me want to cry.The whole day was a fun one.Played alot of games.As usual,Danial will always want to spend the night at my house so yah he is here right now.At night,i did some revision on chemistry again.I realised that i have been spending a lot of time revising on Chemistry and Maths.Should start revising on other subjects too.I'll bear that in mind.Tomorrow,will be studying with Syahidah,Eiss and WJ at CCK library.Okay i guess im done here.Byebye.

I think i wont be blogging for a couple of days due to MYE.All the best for your MYE people.(=

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

8:31 PM